Sunday, October 30, 2005

Srimming Sarons

This post will effectively eliminate all chances that in the future, if I become a famous blogger, Expressions is going to give me an endorsement deal.

So how? I no Olinda Cho, leh. I can't sing as well as her [but that didn't stop Sly from getting into top two], and I no butch, to be feminised. I also no Irene Ang. So nevermind, lor. No free lunches, or lack thereof, to look like Sammy Cheng.

So how? Must pay money? No need, I can just turn into an anorexic like these girls. Free slimming solution! Saves daily expenditure on food! * Sign up now with a friend, and you'll receive a voucher for a C class bed in NUH!

*Terms and conditions apply. Side-effects include fainting, hypoglycaemia, poor skin, and many other problems which will not be mentioned in this advertisement.

When I open the ST, what jumps out at me, almost immediately, are the various ads from Expressions. Marie France, Jean Yip and god-knows-what-else, promising instant weight loss. On TV, stick-thin Fann Wong promises by Xando, saying she lost 2% fat after using it. [Er... what is her fat percentage now? -10%?]

And people wonder why teenage girls turn anorexic.

[What I totally don't get, is how Chinese girls, generally pencil-thin, think they are fat. Do they all use curved mirrors?]

In many countries, advertisement for cigarettes are banned, on the premise that it promotes smoking among the youth. You know what should be banned in Singapore? Advertisements for slimming services. And oh, bust-enhancement services too. Big enough alreadi, lah.

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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I am that...

I am reposting this on the request of the author immoralfear. Really touched my heart.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

immoralfear: the keyboard activist speaks

Truly, one of the best pro-gay entries I've seen from a straight woman. I could hug her if I knew where she was, for standing upto society for us. You totally rock, girl!


17-year-old blogger pleads guilty to two charges under Sedition Act

SINGAPORE : 17-year-old private school student Gan Huai Shi has pleaded guilty to two charges of making seditious and inflammatory remarks about Muslims on the Internet.His lawyer hopes the remaining five similar charges can be taken into consideration so he can get a probation sentence instead of a jail term.Gan is the third person charged under the Sedition Act recently for making racist remarks in his blog.He made inflammatory comments about Malays and Muslims. He also called himself an "extreme racist."The defence lawyer said the main reason why Gan had such feelings of ill will towards the Malay community is because of the death of his younger brother when he was only seven years old.His month-old brother had breathing difficulties and needed to be taken to the hospital in a cab, but a Malay couple refused to let them go first despite his mother's pleas.By the time the family got to the hospital, his brother was already dead. His mother was subsequently diagnosed with post-natal depression.Gan's lawyer said as a result of the incident, he became an introvert, spending most of his time on the computer.Gan's teachers and Malay friends wrote in their testimonials he had never shown any racist tendencies toward them.One Malay friend, Ismail Kassim who Gan got to know during his part-time work, said he got along well with Gan and often discussed football together.Defence lawyer Edmond A. Pereira said: "They have all described him as a very quiet person, so none of them knew about his deep sentiments."But in front of the computer, he's a different animal. He is extremely remorseful for what he has done and wishes to say sorry to all Singaporeans."Gan is currently sitting for his 'O' levels which ends on November 22. His case will be heard again the day after that.

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Saturday, October 22, 2005

Flock This!

When I saw Popagandhi: The Future Has Landed post, I dismissed her excitement as byproduct of her tech-loving (aka geeky) nature. Only when I downloaded Flock and tried it out for myself I realised how great Flock was.

If nothing else, it is a great blogging tool, as it allows you to blog webpages and pictures in an instant, without all that hassle of copying and pasting and switching in between windows, and that is perfect for me, as I write for Singabloodypore which requires a lot of such tedious work. [I even tried to write an applescript fort it, but failed miserably.] And, it allows you to add multiple blog accounts, which is also cool for me, as I have two, and one more in the works.

It even integrates with Flickr and delicious. How much more cool can it get?

This winter, it is time to Flock!

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No, it is not a Japanese delicacy. Neither it is a Malay endearment.
It is in fact, a mythological concept in Indian mythology. "Yoni" is sanskrit for vagina [though it has a much deeper meaning] and "sa", I would guess, is the prefix to indicate the joining, or the parallel existence of two yonis. It is pronounced not with a "nni" sound, but a light "ni", much like how you would say "ni" in chinese.

Of course, anyone can guess the meaning of this imagery - two women having sexual intercourse. In fact, in the ancient times, lesbianism WAS accepted in India, and many temples were carved with erotic images of lesbians. That was of course, before Mahatma Gandhi led his people to destroy most of those carvings and paintings.

As I explored the Yoniversum, it became increasingly clear how much the ancient Indians respected and revered the female organ. Yoni Tantra, in essence ritualised cunninglitus, takes this worship to another level. What's amazing is that there is no restriction on who can perform this, ie, same-sex intercourse is permitted.

So we have to ask, for a civilisation that once had a rich homoerotic culture, why are lesbians prosecuted by cutting off fingers and with public humiliation? The answer can be found in one word: colonisation. The British who occupied India brought with them prudish, Victorian values inculcated by the Church, and spread the homophobia to the local population. The same goes for all the Asian countries, except Thailand, which was never colonised. These countries are now protesting homosexuality over "Asian" values, and adopting decadent "Western culture", while UK itself is one of the more gay-friendly countries now. Ah, precious irony.

Upon further reading, the site tells me that worshipping a woman's yoni is the ultimate worship. Okay. Uhum. Sure. No problem at all, with that. Nope. I shall be a most devout worshipper. For once, my former religion has said something completely sensible. If anyone asks, I am just being a faithful follower, oh-kay? Okay.

All images and animations are copyright of Yoniversum, I just borrowed it for demonstration purposes.

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The Joy of Ads

Advertising, the dirty A word, is usually agreed to be the most evil thing invented by consumerism. It springs at you from billboards on the expressway, and from the TV, often at the critical moment of the hero's adventure as he hangs off a cliff. But without advertising, you wouldn't be reading this blog, because guess what makes blogspot free? It is the singular entity driving most of the businesses in the world, from the repetitive, nasal cries of the market fisherman, to the flashy icons of Microsoft.

Over the years, advertising media has matured and become more sophisticated, as the market does the same. New ideas have to be thought of to catch the consumer's attention, from the thousand other ads that surround him. As a person who appreciates film, I always appreciate good creative ads. But what makes a good ad?

From now on, let it be known that jingles are EVIL. Evil right down to their hyperactive lyrics that stick in your head, and give you a headache everytime you hear it. I hate any ad with a jingle, and make maximum effort not to buy that product. I refuse to fall for repetitive-song-induced hypnotism. Nope. No siree. Never. *worriedly searches her room for such products*

One of the worst ads I've seen is where, typically, a woman hyperactively waxes lyrical about the product, usually dishwasher liquid. She oohs, aahs, and swears by the product for her successful home life.

Recently, the ad that has invaded our everyday space is the NTUC Income ad about insurance, playing on most MRTs. I literally winced when I watched it, wondering if the writers had just come out of a 20-year confinement and had lost all creativity. The actors looked like they had just gotten a botox shot and couldn't move a muscle.

Then of course, there is the infamous Richard Gere ad, waving his Visa card in India. Apart from the cultural depiction which I shall not comment on, it is utterly nonsensical. Show a bird seller in India a Visa card, and he'll ask you whether it is a new type of food for birds. He certainly wouldn't sell a thousand birds to you in an instant so that you can play the hero with a little girl. The only saving grace? Richard Gere's oozing sex appeal and effortless goofiness, and the oh-so-cute little girl.

Ironically, one of the best ads I've seen are from India, considering I grew up watching the dishwashing-liquid ads which used to be rampant there. This Airtel advertisement is seen on Asianet, the Malayalee channel.

You hear an Airtel ringtone playing somewhere, but you don't see where it comes from. A well-dressed, rich young man exits from his sports car and checks his handphone. It is not from his handphone. A auto-rickshaw driver is boasting to his friends about a rich tourist, and he whips out his handphone to check. It it not his handphone either. Cut to a rickshaw driver pedalling his livelihood, and he takes out the phone to answer. "New customer? At the Hotel? Foreigner, ah? I'll be there immediately!" Cut to the amazed expressions on the autorickshaw drivers' faces.

It is a simple, but powerful advertisement. Message? Our prices are so low, even a rickshaw driver can afford one. And what I like most about this ad is that it is reflective of a social trend in India, where handphones are catching on so fast the companies can't keep up. [Mainly due to the fact that most houses don't have a landline installed, either due to infrastructure or affordability problems. Infrastructure, most of the time, due to the inefficient Indian government]

One can debate the evils of advertisements, how it is driving the young to buy things they don't need, how it drives up anorexia and other problems. But it is useless to deny the existence of an artform that has evolved from this necessary evil.

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Sunday, October 16, 2005


I've been talking to this woman, who is going through "the phase". And it is really hard for her, because she is Christian. Try as I might, I can't make her see sense.

Now, everyone who knows me knows that I have nothing but contempt for the institution of religion. I've seen that no religion in our world is the path to "God". And I am sick of what it is doing to our world, and what people are doing, in the name of it. I am not just talking about the terrorist attacks by radical muslim groups: I am talking about how women in Middle East are oppressed using religion, how basic civil rights are withheld from people when some religious conservatives wave around a bible. I am talking about how a pastor proclaimed that Mathew Shepard, the famous victim of a gay-bashing, deserved to die. I am talking about how two religions, both from the same root, are killing each other over a tiny strip of land.

I am talking, about the millions of people whose lives have been torn apart due to this myth. And the millions more who will be affected if we let this continue.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Religion is between you and Him. There is no need to involve a third party, countless rituals and rules for that communion to happen.

Religiousity does not necessarily indicate a person of good character. There are devout Christian folks who regularly abuse their children, sometimes sexually. The terrorists blowing themselves up everyday are really devout Muslims, but can anyone say they are good people? Brainwashing aside, it takes a really cold-blooded person to walk through a market and press the remote in selfish hopes of getting to Heaven.


Closer to home, I am rather disgusted by the way some people evangelise shamelessly. Yes, granted, it is a part of Christianity to spread the faith - but that, in the context of our society, is absolutely tasteless. Having encountered many a Christian who wanted to save me from the depths of Hell, I've learned the correct way to deal with them: smile, nod, take the leaflet and throw it into the dustbin. If they persist, tell them you have a dentist appointment.

It is insensitive, and very offensive to be told that you are going to Hell unless you abandon your faith and join Christianity. I've talked to several muslim friends of mine who've been, very stupidly, approached by these well-meaning people, and yes, they ARE offended.

At the same time, if a Muslim were to do this, he'd be marked as a terrorist. Ah, the joys of being a minority.

Most of all, I think it is entirely inappropriate for a teacher to be "spreading the word". It is simply not ethical. The students, more often than not, are doing it to stay on the good side of the teachers. Afraid of getting low marks in the next test, you see.

Just be contented in your faith, and don't impose it on others. That's all I can ask of you.

Note: I don't have anything against Christians, mind you. This is just what I think about them evangelising without thought to the religious diversity of our country. Don't go and sedition act me, hor?


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Confessions of a Switcher

Dear Steve,

It dearly pains me to write this. I could lie and say our parting was unintended, but now, I have to confess. I was in love with another long before this letter had to be written. I could also lie and say that it is not you, but me. You know me, I cannot lie.

Our seven-year relationship has seen its ups and downs. When I first saw you, you took my heart by offering me games. I knew, even then, that ours was going to be a beautiful relationship. I could not be parted from you, even though my parents deeply disapproved of our relationship. They said it was bad for my studies, that I spent too much time with you. There were times they banned me from being with you at all. But still, I sneaked off to be with you, almost every night.

What really sealed my love for you, was you undergoing a makeover, and emerging as XP, a feast for the eyes. I couldn’t recognize you, if it wasn’t for the familiar logo.

But trouble soon crept into our relationship. After getting the makeover, you became high-maintenance, moody and irritable. Often, you would crash and leave me in the lurch. You would just get up and leave in the middle of a date, often wasting all my hard work. At those times, need forced me to be with others like you. But I knew those flings wouldn’t last - true enough, when you came back to me, our love only deepened.

But now, I’ve found another. Another Steve, coincidentally. I had met him before, and he struck me as very unfriendly. He couldn’t treat a woman right. But after several hostile brushoffs, I came to see his good side. It really helped he was learning more social skills, reaching out to more people. After deep, soul-baring conversations with a friend, I came to realize I was falling in love with another!

I resisted it at first, but soon, it was painfully clear our relationship had come to a standstill. Old age was taking over you, and you had become rather portly. Him, on the other hand, was fit, toned and slim. I realized I had lost all attraction to you. His equipment, an impressive 12”, never fails to satisfy me. Best of all, he never has performance anxiety. As soon as I turn him on, he is good to go. You, on the other hand… I’ll just leave it at that.

So, that’s why, yesterday, I packed up all my stuff and moved in with him. It took me some time to learn his ways, but as soon as I did, I’ve realized this is the best thing for me. Every time I am with him, I discover something new about him.

I am sorry this had to end up this way. Perhaps we’ll meet again one day, and we can be friends. But nothing more.

Best wishes,

A Switcher


Monday, October 10, 2005

Shameless RSS Evangelist

Since the "Shameless Mac Evangelist" title rightfully belongs to some other bloggers around here, I've decided to take on the title of the "Shameless RSS Evangelist". And like a new convert who is even more fervent than the ones who are born into the religion, I shall preach to you all about the greatness of RSS. So... *adjusts the dolby surround system to get a deep bass voice*

Media Think says "RSS presents a huge opportunity to create communication efficiencies inside the enterprise." These are words we must take to heart, my little lost lambs. Without RSS, you'll be lost. Without RSS, you'll be wandering the internet in search of information you need, turning here and there, going to evil websites which require Satanic inventions such as credit cards. Without RSS, you'll have to click on your bookmarks daily to read your favourite blogs.

I was once lost, now I am saved. Deliverance came to me in the form of Newsgator. When I submitted my first feed, I knew I was doing the right thing. But subscribing to every blog that had a RSS feed wasn't enough. I had to spread the word, show the light. Soon, I was requesting every blogger to come over to the right side, to offer their blogs to the Feedburner.

But alas, not every blogger could see the light. They laughed at me, mocked at me for putting my faith in something so techy. They refused to add the orange buttons of salvation to their blogs, so I was forced to make daily trips to their blogs.

But to my horror, I discovered that Microsoft had joined the cult, but they wanted to alter the very symbols of our faith! What sacrilege! The faithful responded immediately, telling Microsoft not to alter the icons, but sadly, it seems they are drifting away from the Church of RSS, and no one can stop them. May the RSS gods have mercy on their soul.

Now, my little lambs, I want you all to go back home and think about this. If you truly desire salvation, then put the holy symbol of our faith on your blogs and webpages. If not... prepare to be left behind in webhell.


Or, just go to, and burn your blog right now. As a newsreader, I'd recommend Newsgator or My Yahoo! If you prefer desktop versions, Feeddemon is good. If you wish to search the web daily for articles of a specific topic, is a good choice, instead of wading through pages of Google searches daily. You can use it to add the feeds you want to your newsreader, for example, articles all over the web pertaining to Singapore. Happy burning!


Saturday, October 08, 2005

Gahmen Says No. As usual

It is being discussed in every Singaporean gay forum, website and blogs, and probably other places I haven’t heard of: the LHL has proclaimed publicly that gay parades will not be allowed perhaps in the next 20 years.

Of course, LHL, gay people are like “you and me”. So why in the world are we still criminalised for loving our partners? This law is at its best, antiquated. Even the source of that law, the British Penal Code, has been revised in its homeland. So why are you still holding on to that outmoded law, which prevents even straight people from having anything other than vaginal intercourse? Perhaps the government is conspiring to increase the birth rate by outlawing anything other than procreative sex. Blowjobs don’t get anyone pregnant, you see.

If you are going to tell me that majority of Singaporeans are conservative, blah blah blah, tell me what YOU have done to rectify that. The MOE syllabus remains staunchly homophobic, so is it any wonder students grow up that way? Let me put this question to the gahmen: if the situation was such that a majority race didn’t approve of a minority race, and thought that allowing them to get married was wrong, would you still hold on to this policy? Singapore, after all, prides itself as a multi-racial nation – and such a state requires that the needs of the minority be met too. True enough, the minority races are allowed their own spaces, festivals etc, even if the majority may not like it, or disapprove of it. The Christians and Muslims think each other as infidels – but are we marginalising the Muslims because the Christians are the majority compared to them? Are we stopping Muslims from celebrating Ramadan, though the Christians think it is pagan? So why this double standard concerning gay people, when everyday, we are told in school to be tolerant of diversity? How do we, in any way, intrude upon the rights of straight people?

What really bothers me about LHL’s line of argument is how another issue polarised the nation the same way, but the government went ahead and legalised it anyway. Yes, I AM talking about the casino issue. Polls show that majority of Singaporeans were against it, if by a small margin, who were concerned about the moral degradation such an installation would bring. But once again, the gahmen demonstrated its extraordinary ability to twist issues the way they wanted, and assured the public that would not be the case. So, LHL, legalising gay sex acts/marriage would lead to moral degradation, and casinos wouldn’t. Yeah, okay. But what does that matter, when casinos can bring in billions of dollars in revenue, and gay people wouldn’t?

I rest my case.

PLU3's rebuttal
Straits Times article... wait, STI requires subscription. Sorry ah. No link, can?

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Wednesday, October 05, 2005

The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth

In the spirit of the hated exam season, I’ve set myself a mini GP question and answered it. Maybe this GP teacher can be kind enough to grade it for me.

Question: The bloggosphere is a technocracy. Discuss.

To blog or to not blog, that is the question. Well, not really, as everyone from the unhappy Microsoft employee to the average teenager now has a weblog. The blogging world is as diverse as the natural fauna and fauna and flora of the earth, perhaps more. You have the ultra-serious bloggers who discuss politics and philosophy, and the angsty teens who whine and moan about their horrible life when their iPod’s battery dies.

From this author’s observation, the bloggers who make it big have similar qualities, such as being funny, satirical or deeply insightful about certain societal issues. In fact, humour seems to be a major factor in attracting visitors to a site, which explains why a no-brainer, grammar-butchering, M-18(for language) blog such as Rockson’s is so popular. [Clearly, Singaporeans have a rather unrefined idea of what humour is]

A classic case study, of course, is everyone’s favourite Popagandhi, the ardent mac-lover and alpha-geek. She reigns supreme in the bloggosphere with her technically superior website, and posts full of mac jargon that an omega-geek like me couldn’t possibly understand. And she, with her Reality Distortion field[commissioned by Steve Jobs himself], attracts lesbians and mac-lovers like moths to a flame [often, they are the same people] and has often managed to convert the former to the latter. One also notices that these bloggers stay up to date with the latest blogventions, such as Trackback, RSS/Atom feedburning, podcasting etc.

Viewed in this light, however, the success of Xiaxue seems puzzling. She still uses her blogspot site, has very little bells and whistles to offer, and heavens, doesn’t even have a RSS feed on her site! She is not that funny and satirical anymore either. So what gives? The answer lies in the fact that she is an absolute Photoshop genius. With such a geeky skill under her belt, is it any wonder that people(read: men) love her pictures blog?

Hence, I conclude that to come on top in the blogging world, it is necessary to be at the top of the technocracy hierarchy, which explains why this blog is relatively unknown, save my five paragraphs of fame.

Note: This author means no offense to the bloggers mentioned here – everything said here is utterly in jest! Don’t flame me, hor?

How, can get A1 anot? My england not that bad sia. Very powderful, right?

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Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The Golden Ticket!

I've just got a Wordpress Golden ticket! And no idea what to do with it. Logic tells me I should move my blog over to Wordpress, infinitely superior to Blogger in every way. Will meditate upon it, and reach a decision when I get my ibook.

Before you ask... yes, I've been infected with what is known as geekosis, also known as macophilia, and windophobia. Prognosis is grim, and subject is not expected to recover. Source of infection, popular blogger Popagandhi. If not contained, this outbreak is expected to spread to the general population at hand, with their weak windoze immunity.



My Five Paragraphs of Fame

Woah. Still can't get over the fact that my blog has been featured in the ST, considering it is relatively unknown.

To think, when I was contacted by the reporter, I was worried big-time about being busted for talking about Martyn See and freedom of speech, as I thought the reporter was going to feature THAT article, not my rather light-hearted one on teachers. *grumbles about vague ST reporters* Still, have to thank her I suppose.

Now that practically half of Singapore has read it, I should be watching for teachers flaming my blog. Thank goodness they have no idea what school I am in, or I might just be the next to get suspended like these JC kids. Would be a good way to get out of doing exams, though. ;)

BBC, here I come. [Hey, I can dream, can't I?]


Sunday, October 02, 2005

Commonplace Terror

And it happens, again. Once again, brainwashed militants have killed and wounded innocents who have done absolutely nothing to them, all in the name of religion. A religion, which by right, preaches peace and tolerance.

But this is nothing, really. Daily, suicide bombs go off all over Baghdad. They have become as common as traffic accidents on a busy highway, so much so that hearing that 100 people have been killed by a suicide bomb in Balad induces no emotion, no sympathy for the lost lives.

And let me interject here, that these Islamic insurgents are killing their own Muslim brothers. Not the so-called "infidels".

I have to ask, what goes in the minds of these bombers? How do they justify to themselves that killing innocents is excusable for their "greater cause", whatever that is? Do they really think that when they go to heaven (if it exists), "God" is going to forgive them for killing his creations? It makes me wonder if they were on crack when they stepped into the marketplace with a bomb strapped to their bare skins.

What I totally don't understand, as well, is how these insurgents think the bombings will revert the country to Sunni rule. Whoever the leaders are, they've got some seriously effective Jedi-like mind control/brainwashing techniques.

Bush, just so that you know, you've got a huge problem on your hands. Maybe your darling Rice didn't tell you, or rather, you didn't listen: you had no business invading Iraq, when you were so underprepared for it.

And it is time you showed some backbone, and acknowledge that you've fed this monster, if not created it. Then go to Iraq, and clear up the huge mess you've made of OIL.

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