Monday, November 21, 2005


The plane cruises through the clouds, defying gravity. I look through the oval windows, admiring the greenery below me, the rivers meandering through the landscape. I guess we are passing over Andra Pradesh or something, for Northern India is not as green. Soon enough, the greenery disappears, to be replaced by a brownish landscape. The land is chequered, divided into so many neat squares by a giant hand, a huge chessboard.

The plane curves and makes a smooth landing. The cool voice of the air hostess tells me that is the 29 degrees maxmum, dipping as low as 14 degrees: radically different from Singapore.

It is not until that I am in the car, reclining against the plush chair enjoying the aircon, and a small girl runs upto our vehicle desperately pressing today's paper against the glass, begging us to buy one, that it truly hits me: I am in India.


Thursday, November 17, 2005


By this time tomorrow, I'll be reclining comfortably on a plush chair, accepting hot towels and drinks from a smiling air hostess. And it will take another three weeks or so for me to do the same thing on the way back.

That's right, I am going to India for three weeks. As happy as that news is, it also means I have to abandon this blog for a short while. I'll try my best to get on a computer during the trip and blog (I am sure I'll have lots of things to blog about), but it is doubtful.

Meanwhile, don't go away! Subscribe to my feed so as to get RSS updates, or use the email update function (look to my sidebar) so that you won't miss anything.



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Friday, November 11, 2005


This announcement probably a year behind time, dissonant after the revolution has already swept past. But that has always been the case with me: it took me two years to latch on to the Harry Potter craze. And now, I've just discovered the craze that is Dan Brown. More accurately, that of the Da Vinci Code.

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Reading through it is like flipping through several history books whose interesting bits have been cut out and pasted upon a colourful story board. The facts may not always be accurate, and the story implausible at some points. But the storyteller that is Dan Brown, weaves a wonderfully complex world for us to immerse ourselves in, ignoring whatever historical inconsistencies there might be. I do not think that most of it is that untrue, though, as he is merely echoing the theories of many a historian investigating the myth of the Holy Grail.

The symbology, the culture, and rites of various religions nterest me greatly, despite, maybe even because I've rejected organised religion. I can examine rituals and concepts with a dispassionate, unbiased mind, not limited by notions of apostacy or heresy, the more pagan the better.

What really interested me about the Da Vinci Code is the reference to the sacred feminine. Practically every ancient culture once has had Goddess Worship as a part of it. Reverence for the sacred feminine, the giver of life and love has been an integral part of many a culture. You would remember my post on Sayoni, and the obvious lesbian aspect of the ancient myth. But that is just a tip of the iceberg of Goddess Worship that is apparent in Hinduism.

In contrast, the intense mysogyny in many parts of the world has been perpetrated by male chauvinist religious leaders bent on keeping the grip of power within male hands, suppressing the previous reverence for the sacred feminine, deeming it pagan. The tide may have changed with the advent of female liberation, but not enough. It is a man's world.

I've questioned many times: why must God be characterised a man? In fact, if a God exists, and if endowed with a gender, She should be a woman, as she is the creator of all life. Furthermore is the possiblity that God is in equal parts male and female. [I can already hear the howls of outrage now]

To touch a woman, according her the appropriate respect and reverence, not seeing her an object of sex, is to touch a living Goddess. I feel doubly blessed to be a queer woman, for being a woman, and being able to appreciate and love other women. Take a snapshot of this, because this is the most spiritual statement you'll ever hear from me. *click*

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Thursday, November 10, 2005

Nope, we are not homophobic

I just received this today on the signel mailing list. Needless to say, I am utterly and totally convinced that I should leave this country at the first opportunity.

The National Arts Council (NAC) has changed its mind and has flatly told PLU3 that the open meeting scheduled for Thursday 11 Nov at the National Library cannot be permitted.

Over the last week or so, they had been expressing "concerns", which were never clearly specified, but which left us absolutely no doubt that they simply centred around the fact that we are gay.

A mid level officer who had originally told us our meeting was OK, after we gave her a few assurances as to the nature of the meeting, later told me that she expected to be overruled by "senior management". Other sources indicated that the instruction to scuttle the event came from the MICA Minister himself.

What happened was that after I made the first posting on SiGNeL, a copy of it was sent to NAC or MICA. Immediately the midlevel officer was told of the management's "grave concern". She read that as a hint that she was expected to withdraw her decision. I spoke to her on the phone, clarified a few more things, and the conversation ended with her saying she'd re-consult her higher management.

For that reason, I did not wish to reply to Roy's email on the subject; the matter being in flux.

A few days later, I heard that NAC had definitely reversed its decision.

This indicates to me two possible explanations.

First, that the mid-level officers had a different outlook from the "senior management" (which could be just one top honcho). One level was prepared to approve, the other not, but didn't become aware of the mid level's decision until later. Clearly, the mid-level, embarrassed and censured over this incident, will no longer want to exercise any initative in the future, and thus our civil service has died a little bit more.

Second possibility: the senior management were/was aware from the start, but preferred the hypocrisy of silence and shadows. The moment it became public, they had to cover their asses. This tells us something about our senior civil service or political levels that boast of honesty and integrity in speech and action.

I don't have to mention how absurd this is considering PM Lee's "the government is not homophobic" claim.

If anyone had posted the original message to other lists/boards, please do likewise with this one, otherwise, people may go to the National Library for nothing.

I've nothing to say for this news. We take a tentative step forward, and then someone pushes us two steps backwards. Someone speculated that there is a "spy" inside Signel who rang the alarm bells when the details of the meeting were made public. But you know what, I don't care. I am tired of fighting against this. I am tired, of being gay, just like Popagandhi. I have no girlfriend whose hand I am afraid to hold. But it is tiring, to play peek-a-boo with everyone around you. It is tiring to keep your chin up when all that the ones in power want to do is beat you down.

Think about this: how would we react, if this was a meeting for some racial group? SINDA, perhaps? MENDAKI? I pity those who can't see the link between racial discrimination and homophobia, how they can accept those of a different colour, but can't accept those who love differently.

Again and again, I hear the phrase "Singaporeans are conservative". Who determined that? Did someone go around asking every Singaporean how they felt? Was any effort made to educate people about homosexuality? And yet, our PM has the cheek to say that the gahmen is not homophobic. And you know something? Almost the exact same words were repeated during the suffrage movement and during the civil rights movement. In the 1950s, people in America thought that inter-racial marriage was IMMORAL. Somehow, I am hearing those words again, but this time, with the three-letter word instead.

History repeats itself, but who cares?

Singabloodypore - PLU banned from NLB

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Sunday, November 06, 2005

Tomb Raider

It is high time I admitted it to the world: I am a Tomb Raider fan. I am one of those who spend hours in front of the computer making Lara swing, climb and shoot. I LOVE Tomb Raider 6, and have played through it three times.

I am one of those who drools over Angelina Jolie in her Lara Croft outfit, not caring she was wearing padding. I mean, who wants to know details like that when such eye candy presents itself?

Now Eidos Studios has done something to make sure I'll buy Tomb Raider 7: they based Lara on this hottie below: Rhona Mitra. Half Indian, half british.... in other words... ooh lala!

Flickr PhotoFlickr Photo

Three words: marry me Rhona!

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Saturday, November 05, 2005

This Week in Lesbian Entertainment

At precisely 3.30 pm on a Saturday, my jaw drops open as a lesbian music video plays on the huge screen outside Orchard Emerald. Wait a minute.. this is Singapore, otherwise known as the country which can easily be renamed Straightapore. Where the sun is always shining, and the gahmen is not homophobic. Umhmm.

I glance at the title of the video, and my heart sinks. Get ready for the bad news.... The image “” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

TATU is back, to the consternation of both lesbian women and straight-lace conservatives. That's right, boys, better start placing orders for their latest het male fantasy hot CD.

But what's so bad about Tatu? They are lesbians, right? We should be grateful for such visibility, right?

Wrong. We are as grateful to them as we are to the scores of women in lesbian porn made for straight men. Making-out sessions in school-girl outfits which are highly reminiscent of Britney's lolitaesque first music video do not constitute as lesbian visibility.

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On the bright side, "Saving Face" is now playing in theatres. My only grouse about the movie is that it shows a rather andro-femme lesbian pairing, but even that is forgivable with its happy ending.

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I know this movie is old news and not exactly this week, but I want to watch "The Journey"! It is extremely unlikely to show here unless in a film fest. Can you believe I've yet to watch "Fire", but I've watched and rewatched every single episode of The L Word? Talk about irony...

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Thursday, November 03, 2005

PLU Open Meeting

I received this email from the signel and redqueen mailing list, and thought to share it with my readers who may not be in there. Please do attend this meeting if you can. Yours truly will try her best to be there, but given that I've to keep as anonymous as possible, it is questionable.

PLU Open Committee Meeting on the 10th Nov

The title begs more questions than it answers, and that's deliberate.

There will be a week of activities at the National Library and Drama
Centre leading up to its official opening on 12 Nov. Most of the
activities are in the form of interactive theatre.

On most evenings, the big room on the 5th floor will host a committee
meeting of some NGO or other. Normally such meetings are closed-door,
but for the purposes of challenging the public's minds, they will be
open to the public, Whether the public can participate, or only observe
is left to each NGO to decide.

People Like Us has been allocated the evening of Thursday 10 Nov, time
slot 7.00 - 8.30 pm. So we're going to hold a meeting there where the
public can see real lesbian and gay people (who don't look anything
like the Fridae crowd, haha) talk about gay stuff.

The public are of course free to wander in and listen. We're even going
to allow members of the public to speak and offer their views. However,
we will set one condition. If anyone wants to speak, he must take on
the persona of a gay or lesbian person and speak from that perspective.

(I wonder how many straights are going to take up this challenge)

The event is sponsored by the National Arts Council, who have with some
difficulty swallowed hard and agreed to having People Like Us on the
program. Printed leaflets too. Slowly, slowly, we're becoming

This will be an eye-opening experience to you, especially if you are straight. Please do attend.

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Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Note: Happy Diwali to all Hindus

Swinging my bag, I hurriedly grab the nearest available seat on the train, not noticing it is right next to a Indian foreign worker, and opposite two of them. Only after I sit down I realize my mistake, but it is too late. It doesn’t help that I am wearing what is considered one of my more “revealing” tops (ie bustline is 2 cm lower than usual). I stare at the floor, I stare at the MRT line-map, at the advertisements, anywhere, but at the guy who is staring at me now.

It is a familiar situation, this, one which I am acquainted to since I started “developing”. This ubiquitous stare follows me as I walk next to construction sites, through the streets of Little India and around the temple. I am used to the cat-calls and derogatory remarks. I am effectively blind, deaf and mute when such episodes strike, as the upbringing of most Indian women dictate. My mother often scolds me if I am wearing tight/revealing clothing when visiting Little India, clothes which would otherwise have passed the test if I were visiting Orchard Road.

(Straight) Young Indian men usually consider it their birthright to stare at other Indian women, the younger the better. While most Singaporean Indian men are fairly decent, the ones born and bred in India are usually not. India has a problem that I’ve never heard of in other countries, so much so that they’ve coined a word for it themselves: eve-teasing. Ladies, going back and forth about their business daily, are stared at, teased and molested by young hot-blooded men, often on crowded trains and buses. There is a whole faction of female policemen trained in combating this problem.

It is a defect, I believe, owing to the patriarchal structure of the Indian family, and
the absolute-chastity-before-marriage condition [making the forbidden fruit all the much sweeter]The woman is a piece of property to be passed from family to family, thus granting her scant respect. One would note that there is a direct correlation between the level of freedom and respect granted to women, and men’s behaviour towards women. It also comes back to the mother then, to ingrain in her son the proper respect towards women. But how can she, when she does not have respect for herself? Maybe this is not confined to India, but a characteristic of men and women from third-world countries, which would make a lot of sense.

And it is really not as if yours truly doesn’t enjoy looking at women, so to an extent, I know where this guy is coming from. But as hot as the girl is, I accord her the respect she deserves, and I don’t stare at her like a piece of meat, which is not what any self-respecting woman wants.

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