Wednesday, October 24, 2007


If you are still coming here, you are behind times! My new blog is at

Update your bookmarks and RSS feeds please.


Sunday, January 15, 2006

Sayoni - the beginning

Yes, I know I haven't blogged in a long time. The minute I came back from India, I was swamped with work, work and more work.

After that was over, something new surfaced, that took my attention away from this blog. I became involved with a group of women from signel/redqueen, who are embarking on an ambitious project: starting a new platform for queer women. That's where all my time in the past few weeks have gone, building the blog and forum. I've been building Sayoni.

The aim? To empower queer Asian women, to keep them informed, and to facilitate discussion within the community. This kind of thing has never been done before, and we are really excited to be doing this, poised at the edge of a revolution.

Why aren't we being "activists", demanding equal rights? Because, before we can bang on the parliament doors and demand gay marriage, we have to build community spirit. The blog will be a place for us to speak our mind about issues that concern us, from different points of view. Yours truly will be talking about being a young queer girl, being bisexual, and being in a minority. Others will be talking about things like being an older lesbian lesbian, being christian etc. Something to cater to everyone. The forum is for you, to talk among yourself about whatever you want. The site is for YOU. We just run it.

Hence, to jumpstart the "beta" release of Sayoni, I'd like to appeal to all the gay readers of my blog to visit the site, read the blog and forum.

What does that mean for this blog? Well, I can't possibly juggle three blogs, this, singabloodypore and sayoni, especially with exams looming. Hence, with great regret, I am shutting this down. Hence, from now on, if you wish to read me, Sayoni is the place to go, though I'll only be talking about exclusively gay issues. Perhaps, after my exams, I'll start a personal blog again.

Until then, sayonara!


Friday, December 09, 2005


Yes siree, I am back. If I weren't wishing I had had more time with the North Indian girls, I'd say it is good to be back. [For the record, that time refers to the time I spend looking at them. What in there world were you thinking?]

Knowing my steadfast love for all ladies who are brunettes, it should come as no surprise that my jaw inevitably drops open when it comes to North Indian women. Unfortunately, I couldn't shoot even one-tenth of the number of gorgeous ladies that I laid my eyes on.

Flickr Photo

Flickr Photo

Gorgeous ladies aside, the trip was an interesting journey, to say the least. More to come in later posts.


Monday, November 21, 2005


The plane cruises through the clouds, defying gravity. I look through the oval windows, admiring the greenery below me, the rivers meandering through the landscape. I guess we are passing over Andra Pradesh or something, for Northern India is not as green. Soon enough, the greenery disappears, to be replaced by a brownish landscape. The land is chequered, divided into so many neat squares by a giant hand, a huge chessboard.

The plane curves and makes a smooth landing. The cool voice of the air hostess tells me that is the 29 degrees maxmum, dipping as low as 14 degrees: radically different from Singapore.

It is not until that I am in the car, reclining against the plush chair enjoying the aircon, and a small girl runs upto our vehicle desperately pressing today's paper against the glass, begging us to buy one, that it truly hits me: I am in India.


Thursday, November 17, 2005


By this time tomorrow, I'll be reclining comfortably on a plush chair, accepting hot towels and drinks from a smiling air hostess. And it will take another three weeks or so for me to do the same thing on the way back.

That's right, I am going to India for three weeks. As happy as that news is, it also means I have to abandon this blog for a short while. I'll try my best to get on a computer during the trip and blog (I am sure I'll have lots of things to blog about), but it is doubtful.

Meanwhile, don't go away! Subscribe to my feed so as to get RSS updates, or use the email update function (look to my sidebar) so that you won't miss anything.



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Friday, November 11, 2005


This announcement probably a year behind time, dissonant after the revolution has already swept past. But that has always been the case with me: it took me two years to latch on to the Harry Potter craze. And now, I've just discovered the craze that is Dan Brown. More accurately, that of the Da Vinci Code.

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Reading through it is like flipping through several history books whose interesting bits have been cut out and pasted upon a colourful story board. The facts may not always be accurate, and the story implausible at some points. But the storyteller that is Dan Brown, weaves a wonderfully complex world for us to immerse ourselves in, ignoring whatever historical inconsistencies there might be. I do not think that most of it is that untrue, though, as he is merely echoing the theories of many a historian investigating the myth of the Holy Grail.

The symbology, the culture, and rites of various religions nterest me greatly, despite, maybe even because I've rejected organised religion. I can examine rituals and concepts with a dispassionate, unbiased mind, not limited by notions of apostacy or heresy, the more pagan the better.

What really interested me about the Da Vinci Code is the reference to the sacred feminine. Practically every ancient culture once has had Goddess Worship as a part of it. Reverence for the sacred feminine, the giver of life and love has been an integral part of many a culture. You would remember my post on Sayoni, and the obvious lesbian aspect of the ancient myth. But that is just a tip of the iceberg of Goddess Worship that is apparent in Hinduism.

In contrast, the intense mysogyny in many parts of the world has been perpetrated by male chauvinist religious leaders bent on keeping the grip of power within male hands, suppressing the previous reverence for the sacred feminine, deeming it pagan. The tide may have changed with the advent of female liberation, but not enough. It is a man's world.

I've questioned many times: why must God be characterised a man? In fact, if a God exists, and if endowed with a gender, She should be a woman, as she is the creator of all life. Furthermore is the possiblity that God is in equal parts male and female. [I can already hear the howls of outrage now]

To touch a woman, according her the appropriate respect and reverence, not seeing her an object of sex, is to touch a living Goddess. I feel doubly blessed to be a queer woman, for being a woman, and being able to appreciate and love other women. Take a snapshot of this, because this is the most spiritual statement you'll ever hear from me. *click*

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Thursday, November 10, 2005

Nope, we are not homophobic

I just received this today on the signel mailing list. Needless to say, I am utterly and totally convinced that I should leave this country at the first opportunity.

The National Arts Council (NAC) has changed its mind and has flatly told PLU3 that the open meeting scheduled for Thursday 11 Nov at the National Library cannot be permitted.

Over the last week or so, they had been expressing "concerns", which were never clearly specified, but which left us absolutely no doubt that they simply centred around the fact that we are gay.

A mid level officer who had originally told us our meeting was OK, after we gave her a few assurances as to the nature of the meeting, later told me that she expected to be overruled by "senior management". Other sources indicated that the instruction to scuttle the event came from the MICA Minister himself.

What happened was that after I made the first posting on SiGNeL, a copy of it was sent to NAC or MICA. Immediately the midlevel officer was told of the management's "grave concern". She read that as a hint that she was expected to withdraw her decision. I spoke to her on the phone, clarified a few more things, and the conversation ended with her saying she'd re-consult her higher management.

For that reason, I did not wish to reply to Roy's email on the subject; the matter being in flux.

A few days later, I heard that NAC had definitely reversed its decision.

This indicates to me two possible explanations.

First, that the mid-level officers had a different outlook from the "senior management" (which could be just one top honcho). One level was prepared to approve, the other not, but didn't become aware of the mid level's decision until later. Clearly, the mid-level, embarrassed and censured over this incident, will no longer want to exercise any initative in the future, and thus our civil service has died a little bit more.

Second possibility: the senior management were/was aware from the start, but preferred the hypocrisy of silence and shadows. The moment it became public, they had to cover their asses. This tells us something about our senior civil service or political levels that boast of honesty and integrity in speech and action.

I don't have to mention how absurd this is considering PM Lee's "the government is not homophobic" claim.

If anyone had posted the original message to other lists/boards, please do likewise with this one, otherwise, people may go to the National Library for nothing.

I've nothing to say for this news. We take a tentative step forward, and then someone pushes us two steps backwards. Someone speculated that there is a "spy" inside Signel who rang the alarm bells when the details of the meeting were made public. But you know what, I don't care. I am tired of fighting against this. I am tired, of being gay, just like Popagandhi. I have no girlfriend whose hand I am afraid to hold. But it is tiring, to play peek-a-boo with everyone around you. It is tiring to keep your chin up when all that the ones in power want to do is beat you down.

Think about this: how would we react, if this was a meeting for some racial group? SINDA, perhaps? MENDAKI? I pity those who can't see the link between racial discrimination and homophobia, how they can accept those of a different colour, but can't accept those who love differently.

Again and again, I hear the phrase "Singaporeans are conservative". Who determined that? Did someone go around asking every Singaporean how they felt? Was any effort made to educate people about homosexuality? And yet, our PM has the cheek to say that the gahmen is not homophobic. And you know something? Almost the exact same words were repeated during the suffrage movement and during the civil rights movement. In the 1950s, people in America thought that inter-racial marriage was IMMORAL. Somehow, I am hearing those words again, but this time, with the three-letter word instead.

History repeats itself, but who cares?

Singabloodypore - PLU banned from NLB

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